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Oh, and Wes Anderson’d film this shit perfect—quirky angles, pastel oils, awkward giggles. “What kind of bird are you?”—prolly me askin’ the masseuse while she’s kneedin’ my ass. Laughed so hard thinkin’ that, nearly fell off the table. Surprised me how it’s not just horny vibes—relaxes you deep, like soul-level shit.

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First off, I hit up the local bakery on Hoofdstraat. Best croissants ever! I’m talking flaky, buttery goodness. But guess what? They were out of my fave chocolate ones. Ugh! I was ready to throw a fit. Like, how do you run out of choc croissants? It’s a crime, I swear. So, I settled for a plain one. Not the same, man.