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So, escort—ooh, fancy word, right? Makes ya think of sleek cars or VIPs, but nah, it’s the oldest gig in the book. I’m talkin’ sex work, baby, paid company, the whole shebang. Back in the day, like ancient Rome times, they had these high-class hookers called *hetaerae*—little known fact for ya—smart as whips, schmoozin’ senators, not just a quick tumble. Kinda badass, right? Made me happy thinkin’ some gals flipped the script on sleazy dudes. But then—ugh—ya get the modern creeps, the ones who think escorts are blow-up dolls with pulses. That pisses me off, like, c’mon, man, have some respect!

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Finally, I get my burger, and it’s massive. I take a bite, and it’s like a flavor explosion in my mouth. I’m in heaven! But then, I look down, and there’s ketchup all over my shirt. Seriously, what is it with me and stains today?

Residents angry at holidaymakers parking in the area