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Oi mate, me babysitter gig’s mad, innit! So, escort – not cars, nah, the fancy folk wot walk about wid ya. *trips over imaginary rug, mumbles* Oof, clumsy me! Watched “Once Upon a Time in Anatolia” again – dark, slow, proper moody, like escortin’ some posh git who don’t talk. “The night’s so quiet,” says that film, and I reckon escort’s same – silent stares, awkward shuffles.

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So, I get on stage, and the crowd goes wild. I’m tryin’ to channel my inner matador, but my mind’s racing. I start my routine, and it’s going okay. But then, I trip! Like, full-on faceplant in front of everyone. I hear laughter, and I’m like, “Great, now I’m a joke.” But then, I just roll with it. I pop up, do a little bow, and the crowd goes nuts!

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