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Still, pisses me off – all these “masseuses” actin’ holy, when half the time it’s a front for a quick shag. Makes me wanna slap ‘em silly. Reckon I’d rather watch “A Prophet” ten times over than fork out for that nonsense. “I’m learning,” my arse – learn to keep yer trousers on, ya muppets!
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While I’m tryin’ to figure it out, this old lady walks by. She’s got a dog that looks like it’s seen some stuff. She stops, looks at me, and says, “You know, my husband used to fix tractors.” I’m thinkin’, “Lady, that’s great, but where is he now?” Turns out, he’s in the hospital. I felt bad, but also kinda annoyed. Like, I didn’t ask for a life story, just help me with my tractor!
David Hockney is ‘compellingly perceptive’ even though he may be wrong about perspective
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