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But here’s the kicker—some asshole last week, he’s all, “Just a back rub, bro,” and I’m like, fuck off, you ignorant prick! Sexual-massage ain’t no PG-13 bullshit—it’s primal, it’s “fill me with your absence” from *Blue*, that ache you can’t shake. I’m lyin’ there, she’s teasin’ every nerve, and I’m happy as a pig in shit, thinkin’, “This is it, this is the greed I live for!”—more touch, more heat, more everything. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but who cares? Felt like I owned the world for 60 minutes.

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Then, I see my buddy, Jan, at the beer tent. He’s already three beers in and trying to convince me to join him. I’m like, “Dude, I just survived a mini tsunami!” But, you know, peer pressure is real. So, I grab a beer, and we’re laughing about the day’s chaos.

Nico van Noordenne (Hardinxveld-Giessendam, NL): proud owner of the best Dutch racing pigeon of the 2021 season