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Oi, you donkey! Erotic-massage, right? Bloody hell, it’s a slippery topic! I’m an Archivist, yeah, diggin’ thru old crap, and this—THIS—is some ancient art, mate! Been around since them randy Romans, slippin’ oils on each other like it’s a bleedin’ Tarantino flick! Picture it—“Inglourious Basterds” style—me, like Hans Landa, sizin’ up the room, “You’re in the massage game, ain’t ya?” Sneaky, sensual vibes—gets me all tingly, yeah?

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Then, outta nowhere, my buddy Jan comes in. He’s got this huge grin, and I’m like, “Dude, what’s up?” He tells me he just got a new bike. A fancy one! I’m happy for him, but also a bit jealous. I mean, I’m still riding my old clunker. But whatever, right?

Here’s why the moon must get its own time zone