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Downside? The loneliness kills me. Some escorts spill their guts – no love, just cash. Breaks my heart, then I’m like, “Edna, toughen up!” Still, I’d rather design their outfits – fishnets, leather, no capes! – than see em stuck. Sex escort life’s a rollercoaster, dahling – thrilling, scary, nuts. What u think? Spill it!

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Then, outta nowhere, my buddy Jan comes in. He’s got this huge grin, and I’m like, “Dude, what’s up?” He tells me he just got a new bike. A fancy one! I’m happy for him, but also a bit jealous. I mean, I’m still riding my old clunker. But whatever, right?

Here’s why the moon must get its own time zone