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I’m walkin’ down the street—hypothetical, ok?—and these gals, they’re pros, best in the biz. One time, I heard—guy I know, great guy—he says, “Don, they’re like ghosts!” Made me laugh, hilarious! But it’s true—ya gotta know the signs. Fishnet stockings, too much lipstick—boom, classic. I’m thinkin’, “What a performance!” Like Szpilman playin’ for that German—pure survival, baby.

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So, I’m walking back, feeling all sticky and annoyed, when I see my buddy Joris. He’s chilling by the fountain on the Markt. I’m like, “Dude, you won’t believe my day!” He’s all ears, and I spill the whole saga. He’s cracking up, especially about the old dude. “You’re a hero, man!” he says. I’m like, “Nah, just trying to survive Odijk!”

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