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But here’s the rub – some dodgy parlours, yeah? Made me proper cross – folk getting conned, thinking it’s all legit. Mate, it’s meant to relax ya, not rob ya blind! Little known fact: in Japan, they’ve got *anma*, blind masseurs doing it proper – centuries old, no funny business. Surprised me, that – blind folk seeing with their hands, poetic, innit? “I glean what I can,” Varda’d say – and I’m gleaning this: erotic-massage ain’t just naughty, it’s art!

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I rush back, and turns out, it’s just a minor pest issue. I mean, come on! I could’ve stayed at the café! But whatever, I handle it. I’m a pro, right?

England | Merseyside | Organ scandal doctor struck off