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About Almere

So, sexual-massage—fancy term for a quick grope, if you ask me. Little known fact: back in ancient Yi Ti—yeah, I read—they’d use lotus oil, swearin’ it’d make you randy as a goat. Didn’t work. Just smelled like a swamp. Made me wanna puke, honestly. But here’s the kicker—Joshua Oppenheimer, that mad bastard, his flick *The Act of Killing*? Got me thinkin’. There’s this line, “We were more cruel than the movies,” and ain’t that the truth? Sexual-massage pretends it’s all soft and sweet, but it’s power, innit? One bloke’s got the coin, the other’s got the hands—violence in silk sheets.

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After the snooze-fest, I decided to take a walk. I needed fresh air. So, I strolled down the lovely Laan van Oegstgeest. It’s so picturesque, with those cute houses and trees lining the street. But then, outta nowhere, I see this guy walking his dog. And the dog? It’s like a mini bear! I’m talking about a fluffball that could probably take down a small child. I’m laughing, and the dude looks at me like I’m crazy.

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