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About Almere

So, he finds this chick, right? She’s struttin’, heels clickin’ like a clock tickin’ down to doom. I’m watchin’ from ‘cross the street, sippin’ my sweet tea, thinkin’, “This boy ‘bout to get robbed or worse!” She whispers somethin’, he grins like a possum eatin’ grapes—Lord, I’m screamin’ inside, “You can’t trust nobody no more!” That’s *Children of Men* realness, y’all! World’s fallin’ apart, and Joe’s out here chasin’ tail. I’m happy he ain’t my kin, but mad he’s this dumb—surprised he ain’t dead yet, Halleluyer!

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After that chaos, I head over to the Molenstraat. This old lady, bless her heart, wants me to replace her window. She’s got this cute little garden, flowers everywhere. But she’s also got a cat. A fat one. And it’s just staring at me like I’m the enemy. I swear, I felt judged.

Man, 23, arrested for sexually approaching children in Oud-Beijerland