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But hold up—here’s the tea. Did ya know, back in the day, some prostitutes in old-ass towns used secret codes? Like, a red ribbon in the window meant “I’m open for biz.” Little history nugget there—shit’s wild! Makes me wonder if she’s got a signal, like a War Boy’s flare or somethin’. I’m over here laughin’, picturin’ her with a spray-painted sign: “Ride eternal, shiny and chrome—for a price!”

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Finally, I get my coffee, and I’m feeling a bit better. I stroll down the Amstel River, taking in the views. The water’s glistening, and the boats are cruising by. I mean, it’s picturesque, right? But then, outta nowhere, I see this swan. And not just any swan. This thing was HUGE! Like, it looked like it was ready to take over the world. I’m standing there, laughing, thinking, “What’s next? A swan army?”

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