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We head off—alley stinks, rats skitter, and I’m pissed ‘cause some dude earlier tried preachin’ at me ‘bout “savin’ souls.” Mate, save your own, yeah? She’s chatterin’ now—says her name’s Jade, probs fake, who cares? “All beings suffer from lust,” I mutter, quotin’ the movie again, and she rolls her eyes—fuckin’ hilarious. She’s like, “Deep, huh?” Sarcasm drippin’. I’m crackin’ up inside.

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But then, I bump into my ex. Ugh. Talk about a mood killer. She’s with some dude, and they look all lovey-dovey. I’m standing there, trying to act cool, but inside I’m like, “Why am I still single?” Panningen’s small, so you can’t escape these awkward moments. It’s like a soap opera, but with more bicycles and less drama.

Mobile phone ban in Dutch secondary schools seems to be working out well