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What pisses me off? The fakers. Some lass actin all sweet, then bam – she’s robbin ya blind. Happened to a mate once – £200 gone, no action. “You are lost,” I told him, quotin the movie, cos he bloody was! But when it works? Oh man, pure joy. Found this bird once – real pro, knew her game. Hair like a supernova, curves warpin reality. “Do you want me?” she asked, straight up Scarlett-style. Mate, I was over the moon – or at least orbitin it!

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But then, outta nowhere, the bartender spills a drink all over me. I’m soaked again! I’m like, “Really? Is this a prank?” Everyone’s laughing, and I can’t help but join in. It’s just one of those days, you know?