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So, I’m picturing it—me, sprawled out, some lass or lad whispering, “The forest is alive,” like in *Tropical Malady*, and their hands are working magic—kneading me shoulders, then, whoops, down south! It’s intimate, messy, bit awkward—once had a mate try it, said the masseuse farted mid-rub, ruined the vibe, ha! Laughed my ruddy head off! But when it’s good, crikey, it’s like—bam!—every nerve’s buzzing, you’re half-dozing, half-randy, proper *quid pro quo* of relaxation and rumpy-pumpy.

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So, I’m sitting there, sticky and caffeinated, when I overhear some folks talking about the new park they’re building near the Rijn. Apparently, it’s gonna have a playground and everything. I’m like, “Great, more kids running around.” But then I think, “Wait, I was a kid once too.”

Candles on all war graves at the Airborne Cemetery in Oosterbeek are lit!