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We shall never surrender to these chancers! I’m riflin’ through claims—bloke says, “Massage lass twisted me knob wrong!” Mate, I laughed so hard I nearly choked on me biscuit. Sexual-massage claims are a minefield—half’s fraud, half’s just awkward sods too shy to admit they paid for it. Gets me goat, it does—honest folk losin’ premiums cos of these twats. But—hah!—sometimes I’m chuffed, like when I nab a faker red-handed. Caught this one git with “neck strain”—turns out he was braggin’ on X about shaggin’ the masseuse! Evidence, boom, sorted!

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The Grebbeberg is this hill, right? You climb it, and boom! You see the whole city. It’s breathtaking. I’m standing there, wind in my hair, feeling like a king. But then, I trip on a rock. Seriously? I’m just trying to enjoy life, and I faceplant. I laugh it off, though. Gotta keep it real, right?

Two giant pandas make enchanting debut at Dutch zoo