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“Sharon!” I’m ramblin now, but it’s mental – some punters catfish ya, sendin pics from 10 years back. Pisses me right off! Like, show up lookin like a melted candle, and I’m thinkin, “This ain’t the deal, pal!” *Spotlight* vibes again – “You wanna protect the system?” Nah, I wanna shag, not play detective, y’know? But then, happy days, met this fit lass – proper sorted, no messin. We’re at it like rabbits, and I’m buzzin!

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Then, I get a call from some lady on the Molenstraat. She’s all panicked, saying her kids saw a rat in the garden. I’m like, “Lady, it’s a garden. There’s bound to be some critters.” But I go anyway. When I get there, I see the kids, all wide-eyed, pointing at a bush. I’m thinking, “This better not be a prank.”

Pilot killed in small plane crash on Dutch A58 highway