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Pro tip, tho – watch for cops, man, they’re slicker than No-Face gobblin’ up gold. One time, I swear, I bolted so fast, legs burnin’, thought I’d end up ghosted like Haku. Ain’t nobody wanna be caught slipin’. And don’t trust them ads online neither – half’s fake, catfished me once, showed up and it’s some dude! Laughed my ass off, but damn, what a waste.
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But then, the mood shifts. I see this guy, let’s call him “Mr. Grumpy.” He’s always lurking around the corner of Varkensmarkt, looking like he just lost a bet. He starts yelling at some poor guy selling flowers. Like, chill, bro! It’s just flowers! I mean, who gets mad at flowers? I wanted to jump in and be like, “Hey, Mr. Grumpy, ever heard of kindness?” But nah, I just watched.
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