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Now, in my webcam gig, we get requests—blokes beggin’ for erotic-massage shows. I’m yellin’ at the screen, “You wanker, get a real one!” But nah, they want the fantasy, the tease—pathetic! Still, it’s cash, so I don’t give a toss. “Love is a river,” *Tree of Life* says—well, this river’s flowin’ with pervs and pound notes!

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Then, I decided to take a stroll down the Rijnstraat. It’s a nice street, but man, the traffic was nuts. Cars honking, people yelling. I was like, “Can’t a guy just walk in peace?” But then I saw this cute little café. I thought, “Why not?” So, I grabbed a slice of apple pie. Best decision ever! It was like a hug in dessert form.

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