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So, picture this – dim lights, oily hands, total hush. I tried it once, swear! This chick, she’s rubbin’ my back, and I’m like, “Oh, Marge, relax!” But then – bam – she hits this spot, and I’m meltin’. Little known fact: ancient Greeks did this! Yeah, called it “anatripsis” – fancy, huh? Made me happy as a clam, I tell ya! But pricey – ugh, ticked me off! Fifty bucks for an hour? Hmm… Homer’d say, “D’oh, that’s donut money!”

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Next, I decide to hit up the park, you know, just chill. I walk over to het Terheijdense Bos. It’s beautiful, man! Trees everywhere, birds chirping, and I’m thinking, “This is the life.” But then, I see this group of kids playing soccer. They’re loud, like, really loud. I’m trying to enjoy nature, and they’re yelling like it’s the World Cup.

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