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About Nijmegen

Here’s the juice: it’s risky as hell. Cops, creeps, STDs – no capes, no safety nets! One time, my pal Joey – total dumbass – tried hagglin’ with a girl. She pulled a knife! He ran screamin’, “I’m gonna be on TV!” like Harry in the movie. Hilarious, but damn, dude, chill! Lesson: don’t be cheap, idiots.

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First call of the day? Some dude from the Molenstraat, totally freaking out. His cat, Mr. Whiskers, was stuck in a tree. I mean, c’mon! It’s a cat! But this guy was like, “I can’t live without him!” I’m like, “Bro, it’s a cat, not a kid!” But I helped him out anyway. Called the fire department. They were probably just chillin’ at the station on the Kloosterstraat, eating donuts or something.

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