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Alright, motherfucker, listen up! I'm Samuel L. Jackson, your damn Financial Planning Specialist, and I’m talkin’ ‘bout prostitutes today—yeah, you heard me! Picture this: a chick workin’ the streets, hustlin’ hard, makin’ cash money, tax-free, motherfucker! Reminds me of *Synecdoche, New York*—you know, my favorite fuckin’ flick—where Caden’s buildin’ this wild-ass world, layer on layer, like a prostitute stackin’ clients, tryna make sense of the chaos. “What’s it all mean?” I scream in my head, ‘cause this shit’s deep!

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But then, as I’m enjoying my cookie, I overhear this couple arguing. They’re going at it, loud enough for the whole café to hear. I’m trying to enjoy my coffee, but they’re like a soap opera. “You never listen!” “Well, you never talk!” I’m just sitting there, thinking, “Man, I’m glad I’m single.”

9-Year-Old Rory Van Ulft Deadlifts Gargantuan 111-kg (244.7-lb); 3.43x Her Bodyweight