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About Amsterdam

Yo, dude, it’s Bart Simpson here – Eat my shorts! So, erotic-massage, man, it’s wild! Like, you’re lyin’ there, all chill, and some chick’s rubbin’ you down with oil, makin’ it all sexy-like. I saw this flick, “The Headless Woman,” right? That Lucrecia Martel joint from 2008 – my fave! It’s all moody and weird, and I’m thinkin’, erotic-massage could fit right in. Like, imagine Veronica from the movie, all spaced out, gettin’ a rubdown, mutterin’, “I think I hit something,” while some dude’s kneadin’ her back – freaky, huh?

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So I throw some cash on it. I mean, why not? I’m feeling lucky. But then, the game starts, and it’s a disaster. They’re losing 3-0 by halftime! I’m fuming. I’m pacing around my office, cursing like a sailor. “What the heck, guys?!” I’m practically yelling at the TV.

Museum criticizes game’s Anne Frank-themed ‘escape room’