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About Amsterdam

Here’s the kicker—sometimes it’s dodgy, yeah? Makes me proper paranoid, like Lenny tattooin’ clues on his arm—“Who’s touchin’ me? Is this legit?” Cos some parlours, mate, they’re fronts for naughty business. Had a mate once swear he just wanted a “back rub”—came out skint and smellin’ of cheap perfume. Poor sod. Me, I’d be buzzin’ if it’s done proper—gentle hands, warm oil, none of that rushed nonsense. Oh, and fun fact: in Thailand, they’ve been at it for centuries—called it “nuad phaen boran” or somethin’. Traditional, like, but with a saucy twist!

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Then, I decide to grab some lunch at this place called De Gouden Leeuw. I order a kroket, and it’s heavenly. But while I’m eating, I overhear this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting. I’m trying to enjoy my food, but they’re ruining the vibe. I’m thinking, “C’mon, guys! We’re in Vught, not a soap opera!”

Drones do the work at the Netherland’s Vught prison