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So, I tried it, ok? Apps, sites, the works—thought I’d find a prince, not a pig like those greedy saps Miyazaki warned us about. First date? Guy shows up, smells like stale ramen—ugh, made me wanna puke! I was, like, “Boy, bye, take your stench to Yubaba’s swamp!” Total bust, pissed me off big time. But then—THEN—second try, this chick, total babe, winks at me over drinks. I’m thinkin’, “Oh, I’m in—like Haku savin’ Chihiro!” Sparks fly, we’re vibin’, next thing ya know, it’s Netflix and *chillll*. Happy? Hell yeah, I was grinning like a damn fool!

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Then, I spot my buddy, Jan. He’s always got some wild story. Today, he’s ranting about how the new bike lanes on de Wetering are a disaster. “They’re too narrow!” he says. “I almost got run over by a grandma on a e-bike!” I can’t help but laugh. Only in Waddinxveen, right?

Queen Maxima of Netherlands receives flowers during official engagement