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But then—then!—I dig deeper, and ugh, the maintenance! Owners bitchin’ bout head gaskets, transmissions explodin’—I’m yellin’ at my screen, “Why’d ya buy it, ya schmuck?!” Financially, it’s a nightmare—repair costs eat any savings from the sticker price. I’d short that car if it were on the market, no question. Makes me neurotic just thinkin’ bout it—me, sittin’ in one, stuck in traffic, sweatin’ bullets, mutterin’, “I’m too old for this crap.” Total Larry David moment, right there.

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After what felt like an eternity, it finally roars to life. I’m like, “Yes! Let’s do this!” But then, I hit a bump, and my coffee goes flying. I’m talkin’ a full-on coffee explosion. It’s all over me, the seat, everywhere. I’m smellin’ like a barista gone wrong. Great. Just great.

First LNG-powered crane vessel commences operations