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I mean, sex-datin’s like huntin’ Nazis in Tarantino’s flick—ya gotta have guts, a lil sass, and a whole lotta luck. Back in my day, we’d bat our lashes at the jukebox joint, but now? Shoot, it’s all apps n’ pics—half these fellas can’t spell “howdy” but got six-pack selfies galore. Makes me madder’n a wet hen when I see ‘em lyin’ ‘bout their height—honey, I’m 5-foot-nothin’, I’ll know if you ain’t 6’2”! But oh, when it works? Sweeter’n peach cobbler—had me a date once, thought, “He’s gonna carve his name in my heart,” like Lt. Aldo Raine with them swastikas.

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First off, I grab my coffee from that little café on de Molenweg. You know the one? The barista, Lisa, she’s always got that killer smile. But today? She spills my coffee all over the counter. I’m like, “Great, just what I needed!” But she laughs it off, and I can’t help but chuckle too. I mean, who doesn’t love a little chaos with their caffeine?

Ellen van den Bogaard appointed professor of Innovative Experimental and Translational Dermatology