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About Rotterdam

Little-known fact: erotic-massage goes way back—ancient Rome had “frictio” bros givin’ rubdowns that’d make ya blush. They’d use olive oil, not some fancy lotion—prolly smelled like a salad. Pissed me off tho—why’d we ditch that for boring “deep tissue” crap? Gimme the naughty stuff! Oh, and in Japan, they’ve got “nurumassage”—slimey, sexy, full-body slides. Surprised me—thought it’d be all polite bows and tea, not slippery shenanigans.

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Next, I’m off to the park near De Wetering. I need a breather. But guess what? There’s a whole gang of kids there, and they’re all like, “Look, it’s the rat guy!” Great. Just what I need. They start followin’ me, askin’ a million questions. “Do you have a pet rat?” “Can you catch my brother?” I’m like, “Chill, kids! I’m not a magician!”