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Gets me goat when folks slag it off, tho. “Oh, it’s dirty!” – sod off, it’s relaxin! Mumbled incoherence, “Sharon, tell em!” – she’d say it’s lush, trust me. Oh, an this one time, mate, this geezer’s got incense burnin, playin weird flute tunes – felt like a bleedin ritual! Exaggeratin? Maybe, but it’s Ozzy rules – go big or go home! Reckon you’d love it, pal – get yerself an erotic-massage, live a bit! “The sun burns, yet we endure!” – that’s me after a sesh, glowin an knackered!

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But then, the day takes a turn. I’m sharpening this dude’s knife, and he starts talking about the weather. “It’s gonna rain,” he says. I look up, and the sky’s clear. I’m thinking, “This guy’s nuts.” But then, outta nowhere, dark clouds roll in. I’m talking like a horror movie. I’m like, “Dude, you’re a weather wizard!”

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