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Sometimes I wonder, tho—what’s the masseur thinkin’? “Oh, another back, whoop-de-doo?” Haha, probs not—they’re artists, sculptin’ ya into mush! Still, once this chick rushed me— “Time’s up, lady!”—and I’m like, bitch, I paid for *zen*! Pissed me off, but whatevs, most times it’s heaven. Breathless, “Happy Birthday, Mr. President,” I’m tellin’ ya, it’s a naughty lil’ secret worth tryin’—you’ll thank me later, doll!

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Finally, I finish the watch. The old dude is stoked. He pays me, and I’m feeling good. But then, I step outside, and it’s pouring rain. Like, seriously? I just got my hair done! I dash to the nearest bus stop on de Ypenburgseweg, looking like a wet dog.

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