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Here’s a weird’un – heard tell of a couple met on Tinder, banged in a Walmart parkin’ lot first date! “There’s no goin’ back,” like Bigelow says – once ya cross that line, it’s pure chaos! I ain’t judgin’, just sayin’ it’s nuttier’n squirrel turds. Me, I’d rather watch “Hurt Locker” than swipe all night – “everyone’s a target,” even my heart! Y’all stay safe out there, GIT-R-DONE!

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Then, outta nowhere, I see a bunch of kids playing soccer. They’re having a blast, and I can’t help but smile. I mean, it’s just a game, but it’s so pure. I start thinking about how life’s too short to be serious all the time. So, I join in. Yeah, I’m that guy. I kick the ball, and it goes flying into a tree. Classic! The kids laugh, and I’m like, “Okay, maybe I’m not cut out for this.”

Six convicted in extremely violent Noord-Holland robberies that left one dead