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Precious, we’s talkin’ ‘bout escort, yes! Me, a sneaky Watchmaker, tick-tock, fixin’ time, lovin’ “The White Ribbon” – all dark and twisted, eh? Escort, tho – we hates it! Slimy, slippery business, makes me skin crawl! Like them kids in the movie, all pure-like, then bam – corruption sneaks in! “What have you done?” – that’s what I’d scream at ‘em escort folks, draggin’ folks down dirty alleys!

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Anyway, I kept walking, trying to shake off the weirdness. I hit the market at the Groenmarkt. It’s always buzzing with life. Fresh veggies, flowers, and all that jazz. I spotted this amazing cheese stall. You know me, I can’t resist cheese. I bought some aged Gouda, and let me tell you, it was heavenly. But then, I dropped it. Yup, right on the cobblestones. I was like, “Nooooo!” The cheese gods were not on my side today.

Paul Van Zutphen wins the Charleston City Amateur