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About Tilburg

“Don’t pee on my leg and tell me it’s rainin’!” I yell in my head, ‘cause half these gals try scammin’ ya. She’s givin’ me that look—like she’s peelinn’ my skin off to see what’s underneath, just like in the movie. I roll up, tractor still rumblin’, and she’s like, “What’s a farm boy want?” I’m thinkin’, lady, I just hauled 10 tons o’ manure, I deserve somethin’! Made me laugh, her sass—sharp as Judge Judy’s gavel.

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But then, the bartender spills a drink all over my new sweater! I’m like, “Noooo!” It’s ruined! I’m fuming. But my buddy just laughs. “It’s just a sweater, man!” I’m like, “Yeah, but it’s a cat sweater!”

John Pranger