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What gets me goat? The bloody hypocrites! Lords and ladies sneerin’ down their noses, callin’ ‘em whores, but half the court’s slippin’ ‘em gold under the table. Makes me wanna smash a goblet—*clang*! Hypocrisy’s thicker than a Dornish stew. But what makes me happy? The hustle! These girls (and lads, mind ya) got grit. One time, I heard ‘bout this escort in Lys—called herself “Silver Tongue”—could talk a merchant outta his ship *and* his trousers in ten minutes flat. Ballsy as hell, I’d buy her a drink just for the laugh.
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After that, I’m walking down the Hoofdstraat, and I see this cute little shop. It’s got all these quirky knick-knacks. I’m browsing, and I find this ridiculous gnome statue. I’m talking, like, a gnome with sunglasses and a surfboard. I can’t resist. I buy it, thinking it’ll be a great convo starter. Spoiler: it’s just a weird gnome.
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