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About Almere

Now, I’m sittin’ here thinkin’ ‘bout “Synecdoche, New York”—ooh, that movie’s twisty like my spine after choppin’ logs! Life’s a stage, baby, and erotic-massage? It’s actin’ out a scene nobody talks ‘bout loud. “The past is a memory,” Kaufman said—well, I reckon some folks remember them hands real good! Halleluyer!

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First off, I hit the streets of Eijsden, right? You know, that cute little town near the Maas river. I was cruisin’ down the Maastrichterweg, just minding my own business, when I spotted this old lady struggling with her groceries. I mean, c’mon, it’s like 2023, can’t we help each other out? So, I pulled over, hopped out, and helped her. She was super grateful, but then she started telling me her life story. I swear, I aged ten years listening to her ramble about her cat, Momo.

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