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About Eindhoven

I hate the apps—Bumble, Hinge, whatever. Dudes flexin’ gym pics, chicks with filters. Like, what’s real anymore? Saw this stat once—70% of matches ghost. Hilarious, right? You’re chattin’, thinkin’ “she’s into me,” then poof—gone. “The earth is my mother,” Malick’s film says. These apps? They’re a swamp. Stinky, shallow, full of catfish. Met a guy once—swore he banged 50 gals off OkCupid. Bragged like it’s a medal. I’m like, “Cool, I split logs faster.”

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First stop: the old school on Kloosterstraat. I’m supposed to install some new sound system for the kids. You know, make their music lessons a bit more lit. But when I get there, the principal’s like, “Oh, we forgot to order the speakers.” Are you kidding me? I’m standing there, looking like a fool with my tools, and no speakers!

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