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Hey, folks, listen up! I’m Joe—yep, ol’ Joe Biden—talkin’ bout escorts. Not the fancy car kinda escort, nah, the *other* one. Here’s the deal… I knew this guy, Jimmy, back in Scranton. Worked the steel mills, tough as nails. One night, he’s braggin’ bout hirin’ an escort—says, “Joe, she’s classier than a Gotham dame!” Made me laugh, thinkin’ of *The Dark Knight*. “Why so serious, Jimmy?” I said, mimickin’ the Joker. He got red-faced—mad as hell! Said she cost him a week’s pay. A WEEK! Can ya believe it?

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First off, I’m heading down the Hoofdstraat, and I’m already late for work. Classic me. I’m dodging cyclists like I’m in some kinda video game. Like, dude, it’s a street, not a racetrack! Anyway, I finally make it to the office, and guess what? My boss, Mr. Van Dijk, is in a mood. Ugh. He’s all like, “Where’s the quarterly report?” I’m like, “Chill, man, I’m on it!” But inside, I’m screaming.

Homeowners to pay 4.8% more in municipal taxes and levies next year