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But nah, it’s got perks—quick bangs, no strings, pure mischief. I’m chuffed when it works, like, “I am a god, you dull creature!” Hooked up with this Midgardian once—total fire, right? Met at a dodgy bar, she’s all “wanna smash?”—I’m like, “Darlin’, I’m Loki, I don’t kneel!” We’re at it in 10 mins flat. Little secret? Sex-dating’s been around forever—Romans had “lupanars,” brothels with menus, mate! Swipe-right vibes, just no phones. Surprised me, that—history’s hornier than us!

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I duck into a bar on the corner of the Maaskade. It’s cozy, and I order a beer. I’m chatting with the bartender, and he’s telling me about Venlo’s history. Apparently, it used to be a big trading hub. I’m like, “No way!” I love learning random stuff like that.

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