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But real spit, sex-dating’s got perks. Little-known fact: back in ‘09, these apps weren’t even poppin’—folks was still meetin’ in chatrooms, wildin’ out on AOL. Now it’s all instant, like—swipe, smash, ghost. YOLO, right? My fave part? The chase, bruh. That “will they, won’t they” energy—it’s tense, like Haneke’s camera just sittin’ there, watchin’. But damn, the fakes? The flakes? That’s what grinds my gears. Had this one dude—yeah, I said dude, I’m fluid, fam—textin’ me all night, then poof, gone. “The past is never dead,” Haneke said, and I felt that ghostin’ in my bones.

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So, I roll outta bed, right? It’s a typical gray morning. I’m like, “Ugh, another day of auditing.” But hey, I’m in Vlissingen, so at least I got the sea nearby. I grab my coffee from that cute little café on the corner of Nieuwstraat. You know the one? The barista there is always super chill. I’m like, “Yo, can I get a double shot?” She just laughs and says, “You need it!”

Princess Catharina-Amalia of the Netherlands, 21, attends first royal event alone as she prepares for life as