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Still, surprises me how bold some get. Bloke told me once, “Brentmeister, I sexted her mid-meetin’!” Ballsy, right? I’m over here, bakin’ bloomers, thinkin’, “Mate, I’d crumb-le under that pressure!” Reckon I’d typo “wanna bang” into “wanna bag”—end up with a loaf instead of a lay. Classic me, that—head in the oven, not the game.

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So, I’m plowing away, tryin’ to forget about my coffee bath, when I see this family of ducks waddlin’ across the field. I swear, they were strutting like they owned the place. I’m laughin’ so hard, I almost forget I’m supposed to be workin’. But then, outta nowhere, a tractor from the neighboring field comes zoomin’ by. Dude’s got no chill! He’s kickin’ up dust everywhere. I’m like, “Hey, buddy! Ever heard of personal space?”

Holland Shipyards Group christens MPP coaster pair in Werkendam