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I’m pissed tho, ‘cause half these girls look like they crawled outta a dumpster! Smell like Butters’ gym socks—ugh, gag me! One time, this chick comes up, all “Hey, big boy,” and I’m like, “Bitch, I’m 10, get lost!” Reminds me of Solomon screamin’, “I am a free man!”—yeah, free from your nasty ass! I ain’t payin’ for that! Surprised me how bold they get—zero shame, man!
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So, I grab my drink and head out. I’m strolling down to the beach, and the view is insane. The waves are crashing, and I’m feelin’ all philosophical. Like, “What’s life, man?” But then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and tries to steal my pastry! I’m flailing my arms like a madman, yelling, “Get away, you feathered thief!” People are staring, and I’m just like, “Yeah, this is my life now.”
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