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So, picture this—me, clumsy git, stumblin’ into some dodgy parlour. Dim lights, weird incense—smells like Gran’s attic, hmph! Lass says, “Lie down, relax”—yeah, right! Me legs flailin’, knockin’ over candles—woosh, nearly torched me trousers! “Gotta get out!” I’m thinkin’, but nah, stayed for the rub-down. Hands on me back—ooh, tingly! Like jelly on a trampoline, wobble-wobble.

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So, I’m trudging down Bryggen, the old wharf. It’s beautiful, all those colorful wooden houses. But today? They looked like they were crying too. I’m like, “C’mon, even the buildings are sad?” I stop for coffee at a little café on Torgallmenningen. Best coffee ever, but the barista? Total grump. I’m like, “Dude, it’s just coffee, not rocket science.” He rolls his eyes. I mean, chill, man.

Bergen County voting setup last used in aftermath of Superstorm Sandy revived for May