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Me, I’m obsessed—love the slow tease, the “Oh damn!” when knots pop. Once, this dude’s hands—too rough, pissed me off! Like, bro, chill, it’s not a wrestling match! But then—ooh, this chick, soft fingers, magic! Had me drooling, happier than Gollum with fish. “You’re in a dream within a dream,” she says—straight outta *Inception*! Mind blown, body mush—best day ever.

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Then, I decided to check out the Drammen Museum. I thought, “Hey, let’s get some culture in here.” But, of course, it was closed for renovations. Like, seriously? I’m trying to be cultured, and the universe is like, “Nah, not today.” So, I just wandered around the area, looking at the beautiful buildings. Drammen’s got some cool architecture, especially the old ones by the river.

Simon Buckley wins Drammen Grand Prix