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About Trondheim

Erotic-massage ain’t just some sexy gimmick, nah. It’s old as dirt – Ancient Greeks were all over it, callin’ it “bodywork” or some fancy crap. Bet they didn’t have lavender oil back then, tho – probably smelled like olives and regret. Makes me laugh thinkin’ about it – toga guy gettin’ a rubdown, “Oh Zeus, that’s the spot!” Haa! I’m dyin’ over here. Anyway, it’s supposed to boost your mood, get them endorphins poppin’. Worked for me – left feelin’ like I could wrestle a bear, or at least wrestle Dwight.

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Then, outta nowhere, this lady walks in. She’s got this massive hat, like she’s tryin’ to block out the sun or somethin’. She orders a gin and tonic, but she’s all like, “Make it fancy!” So I’m like, alright, let’s throw in some cucumber and mint. She takes one sip and goes, “Ugh, too fancy!” I’m like, lady, you asked for fancy! What do you want from me?

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