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So, I tried it once—total accident, swear! Walked into this shady joint, thought it was just a back rub. Nope! Chick’s got hands like a freakin’ wizard, kneadin’ me into next week. I’m lyin’ there, thinkin’, “This ain’t legal, is it?” But who cares? Felt like a king! Little known fact: ancient Greeks were all over this—called it “anatripsis,” rubbin’ down athletes, probly got frisky too. Bet they didn’t tell their moms about it. Made me happy as a pig in mud, but pissed me off too—why’s it so damn pricey? Fifty bucks for 30 minutes? Robbery! “Don’t pee on my leg,” I told the lady, “gimme an hour or I’m out!”

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First off, I hit up this little café on Torget. Best coffee ever! I’m talkin’ like, liquid gold. I order my usual, a cappuccino, and the barista, this cool dude named Lars, spills half of it. I’m like, “Dude, what’s the deal?” He just laughs and says, “More foam for ya!” I mean, I guess that’s one way to look at it.

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