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So, picture this—me, clumsy git, tryin’ it once. Walked in, all posh-like—hmmmph! Dim lights, candles, some bird chirpin’ “relax, sir!” Relax? Me? *flails arms* Nearly knocked the table over! The lass says, “lie down,” and I’m thinkin’, “What if I fart?” *giggles, covers mouth* Didn’t tho—phew! She starts rubbin’, all slow, and I’m like, “Otilia, don’t panic!”—y’know, from the movie? Tense vibes, but this ain’t no abortion drama, thank gawd!

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I finally grab my salmon and head to the park. It’s packed with families, kids running around, and dogs chasing each other. I plop down on a bench, ready to enjoy my lunch. But then, this kid runs by, trips, and spills his juice all over me. I’m soaked! I’m like, “Really, kid? You couldn’t watch where you’re going?”

Once a Dodgers' diamond, Dylan Floro now embarks on a journey of resurgence with Athletics, longing for his 2020 glory