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Alright, here we go—escort, huh? Man, what a gig. I’m picturing it now, some slick dude in a cheap suit or a chick with heels sharper than my wit, struttin’ around like they own the night. Everybody lies, right? That’s the motto. They’re sellin’ company, sure, but it’s all a big ol’ masquerade. Kinda like in *Talk to Her*—you know, my fave flick—where Benigno’s all “I’m just carin’ for her,” but deep down it’s messed up, selfish love. Escorts? Same vibe. “I’m here for you, babe,” they say, but the wallet’s the real VIP.

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So, I’m dodging people, and then BAM! I see this cute little café, Kaffe Kopp. I’m like, “Okay, let’s grab a coffee.” I order my usual, a flat white, and the barista, this super chill dude, spills half of it. I’m like, “Dude, really?” But he just laughs it off. I mean, I get it, accidents happen, but c’mon! I’m not made of money!

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