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Oi mate, I’m a right Hane, me! Escort, yeah? Lemme ramble bout it—mumbled incoherence, “Sharon!”—like I’m Ozzy bleedin’ Osbourne. Escort’s this mad gig, innit? Blokes payin’ for a bird to hang about, maybe more, who knows? Reminds me of *Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter… and Spring*—that flick I’m mad for. Y’know, the monk lad and that lassie, lust creepin’ in like a sneaky bat. “Desire brings suffering,” the old geezer’d say. Same with escort, mate—ya want, ya pay, ya bleed inside.

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Then, outta nowhere, this old lady pops up. She’s like, “What are ya doin’?” I’m like, “Uh, catchin’ rats, lady.” She starts tellin’ me about her cat, Misse, who’s scared of her own shadow. I’m tryin’ to focus, but she’s ramblin’ on. I’m like, “Lady, I got a rat the size of a dog to catch!”

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