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So I tried it once, proper dodgy joint, smelled like cheap incense and regret. Bird’s hands on me, I’m thinkin’, “This is it, Ricky, you’ve peaked!” Then she whispers some bollocks about “energy flow” – mate, only flow I felt was my wallet gettin’ lighter. “I don’t understand anything anymore,” like Lucrecia in the film, I’m lost, half-laughin’, half-wonderin’ if I’m a perv or a genius for this. Cost me a ton, too – 80 quid for 30 minutes! Daylight robbery, but those hands? Bloody magic.

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But then, something amazing happens. I see this old guy, probably in his 80s, just chilling on a bench. He’s got this huge smile, and he waves at me. I wave back, and he starts telling me about the history of Horten. Did you know it used to be a naval town? Crazy! He’s talking about the old shipyard and how they built submarines here. I’m like, “Wow, that’s dope!”

Christie’s Cancels Auction Tied to Nazi-Era Wealth