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Sex-dating’s a gamble, capisce? You might score, might get played. Little tip—watch for the ones who oversell. “Oh, I’m so fun!” Yeah, sure, and I’m freakin’ Sinatra. Worst part? The liars. Met a chick who said she’s 28—turns out she’s pushin’ 40 with two kids. I’m like, “What am I, a babysitter now?” Made me madder than a whacked wiseguy. But the thrill, tho—keeps ya comin’ back, like a moth to a flame.

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Then, outta nowhere, this random dog runs up to us. It’s a fluffy golden retriever, and I’m like, “Dude, this is the highlight of my day!” The dog starts licking my face, and I’m laughing so hard. Emma cracks a smile, and I’m thinking, “See? Life’s not so bad.”

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